I can’t sleep. My body clock thinks I should be at work, so I’m up early writing this because I was surfing the channels and ran across VH1 Classic’s Rock Band 2 countdown, a count down of the most popular songs featured in version two of the popular video game. This issue is a burr under my saddle. How many commercials have we seen recently with musicians somberly pleading into the camera to help "Save the music"? Schools are cutting back music programs left and right and all the while VH1 Classic is counting down music from a video game!

My friend Jude recently found out that he has to buy a cello for his daughter who signed up for orchestra this year. When I was in school, the school provided the instruments and you’d sign them out for the year. These days the financial responsibility lies with the parents. Jude is worried because of the state of the economy and potential layoffs happening. He said if he gets laid off, the cello’s the first thing to go. He may have been joking but I’m sure that’s the case all over. When money’s tight, it’s hard to justify that kind of expenditure. And yet these video games are selling at an alarming rate.
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Do friendships come to us by coincidence? Are we people who just happen to be in the right place and time, stumbling through what we do or don’t have in common, tripping into friendship like lovers fall into love?Or is it fate, almost as if our souls are so closely meshed, as if by design, by some divine intervention we are led to the exact moment in time that will impact us so profoundly that our lives will literally be changed forever, for the better? Ursula Lawson came into my life in exactly that way.

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The building housing Travelocity’s San Antonio offices is a concrete island surrounded by a wooded ocean that used to be the home to many critters. We’ve seen raccoons, rabbits, skunks, and several herds of deer in the area since we moved here about three years ago. Little by little that wooded area is disappearing and unfortunately so are the critters.

About two years ago, the wooded area shrank after Bank of America put in a call center on the lots behind our building. No doubt they will meet the same demise most customer service facilities in the US have met and they will be outsourced to India or Manila, leaving this eye sore where trees used to be.

Early last year, they started clearing the area right in front of our building. Speculation in the office ran rampant with most people buying the rumor that they were going to put up a Wal-Mart on the bare plot of land. The general consensus around the office was “screw the critters; I hope they open up a retail shop so I can go shop during my lunch break.”

I didn’t share this view and to me the whole thing seemed symbolic on a much greater scale. This had been happening all over the city for years. Retail parks started popping up seemingly overnight. Little by little those wooded areas that made San Antonio feel more like a town than a huge metropolis were being swallowed up by ugly concrete structures so people won’t have to drive quite so far to the next Wal-Mart. How many Wal-Marts does one city need?

After about 8 months, no work began on the project. We guessed that work stopped because of the economic slow down.  The weeds started growing again but it wasn’t the same. Many trees had been removed and the view became a beautiful sight of Interstate 35 which is especially breath-taking during rush hour. It’s almost two years since they cleared that area and I haven’t seen the deer in months. And I’d rather see them running in those fields that these empty buildings housing the ghosts of prosperous times gone by.
 

Like hurt beneath anger
You lie just beneath the surface
Under my skin
Heating my blood
Sparking my desires
Throwing me off balance
Confusing me
I want to drink you in
Memorize every inch of your body

Vivid memories of your smile

Distract me in my day

Visions of my hands on your flesh

Invade my sleep

Blurring the lines between reality and bliss

Dreaming or awake

I am always aching for you

Haunted by a desire that grows

Weed-like consuming everything in its path

Thoughts of anyone else eradicated

In passion filled fantasies that leave me

Ravaged by my hunger for you

Weakened by my need for you

Frightened by my love for you

Very much alive but still haunted

A while back I was doing some community service work at Goodwill as part of a ticket dismissal agreement. While working there I was hit on by a sweet but rather gangly and slovenly looking gentleman also doing community service. He said he loved my smile and he thought I had a very pretty name. It was the first interest anyone had expressed in me since Mary and I broke up. And I wasn’t even looking.

He asked me out and I considered it for all of about 10 seconds. Hey, maybe all this time I’ve been looking for Ms. Right and I should have been looking for Mr. Right, I told myself. Besides, everyone gets a rebound, right?
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